An emotional finish…

One of the quilts that I recently finished up was one that had been languishing in the WIP pile not because I was bored with it but because I was not emotional ready to deal with finishing it.

The quilt was started in 2015 while I was recovering from surgery after an ectopic pregnancy.  For the last year or so I was not ready to deal with finishing the quilt up… then one day I looked at the quilt top and decided it was time.  I bundled it up and sent it to my friend Kazumi to finish up…

finished star cross quilt 2

The quilt top was made using a paper piecing pattern that I designed…and making the top was a slow and deliberate process for me as I healed.  If you are interested in reading more or using the pattern you can follow the links to my earlier posts.

star cross quilt detail 3

This quilt is our new couch quilt and my new comfort quilt.  I have not kept many of my quilts but this one will be treasured.  I look at it and see all the pain but also all the strength it took to keep going.

cross star quilt detail 2

I also see lots of little treasured bits of my stash, including some fabrics which were bought decades ago when I started quilting.

cross star quilt detail

I am really proud of this quilt… it is not my most creative masterpiece -my most creative quilt to date is my Michael Miller challenge quilt I think – but as I made this quilt piece by tiny piece I stitched myself back together.  I am proud of that.

quilt wrangler

And I could not have done any of it without the support of my wonderful quilt holder and partner in crime.  Thank you Mr Wombat.

42 thoughts on “An emotional finish…

  1. Amazing quilt! It is one to be treasured for its role in your healing process, as well as being a beautiful quilt! ….Because of following your blog, and seeing all your awesome creations, I have now started to use a lot of black and white fabrics in my quilts…not sure I would have gone in that direction if not for your inspiration! Before seeing how you use b/w fabrics, I would tend to walk past that section in my local quilt shop…now, that is the first place I head…..Many thanks!!

  2. I knew there was another reason that I chose to use your block pattern when I started a quilt for myself. I too, had an ectopic pregnancy early in our marriage. It was a hard time and in the mid ’70’s so surgeries were much different then. WE do heal and we do go on and I was able to have two children and raise them and now have two grandchildren. I do feel your pain and fully understand why it took time to get back to your quilt. I had a cancer scare a year ago and I too have a quilt top set aside till I”m ready to finish it from that experience. Oh, and I love your block and thank you again for sharing it.

    • I am glad I am not the only one that has struggled emotionally with finishing a quilt. It felt strange to be so resistant to doing something I do every day. I hope you find your way back to your top too.

  3. So sorry to hear of this sad loss. The quilt is so beautiful. Don’t give up on being a Mom if that is your wish. Love to you and to Kazumi for helping you through this loss.

  4. It’s a beauty, and particularly special because you designed the block and it contains so many treasured fragments of fabric. It’s also worth remembering how often we sew our feelings into our quilts. The one I sleep under every day contains a broken relationship, lost job and breast cancer. But I wouldn’t lose it for anything. I’m glad yours is now giving you comfort in another way, in the light of day 🙂

  5. I remember your original post about your ectopic pregnancy, and I thought of you frequently after experiencing a miscarriage of my own a while later. Though I knew it was too soon to make plans, after finding out I was pregnant I had spontaneously purchased a fabric bundle for a baby quilt. It was hard to establish a new relationship with that fabric, as overly-dramatic as that sounds, but I didn’t want it to become too precious, so I eventually sewed it into a mini quilt that most other people glance over but which for me resonates. All this to say: thank you for sharing your experience. It can be a lonely place, but you are not alone.

    • Thank you Amber. It has surprised me through this process how many women I know have miscarried but said nothing about it. As I have shared my story they have felt comfortable enough to share theirs. It is strange how silent we are about these things but when we talk, how much comfort we get from knowing we are not alone.

  6. Often, the most emotional and hardest parts of our lives ends up creating some beautiful beginnings. Life is an endless cycle and I see great beauty that came from your pain. You are a stronger, more fabulous person today than you were when you began this project. Embrace it all!

  7. How true that working on a quilt (or two) during a traumatic period in your life brings all that back later, and how far you’ve gone since then. I just went through a health scare – possible ovarian cancer, and I made and finished the first quilt at the beginning of the process. The second quilt I’m still working on, all hand work, since I’m recovering from abdominal surgery — thankfully, its not cancer. At least I hope, as I don’t get the pathology results till Monday at post op, but so far, no signs of the big C. I am keeping both of these as I truly did become stronger as I went through the whole experience, but didn’t see that till looking back over the past few months. These two quilts are very precious to me….

  8. It’s beautiful! So colorful and pretty. I think every quilt we make takes us back to what was going on in our lives at the time. How wonderful for you to have finished this quilt and come full circle after such a hard thing to go through. It was brave of you to share something so personal and open your heart to others who may also be going through a tough time.

    • Thank you. I must admit the sharing thing is not easy for this Aussie/British hybrid but my US based friends have been forcing me to open up over the last couple of years and I am liking the results.

  9. aw ❤ I love the colors and the pattern. Glad that making it – and now using it – has been helping you feel better.

  10. Blessings are sent your way for a healthy path ahead. The quilt is super special as are you! Devine timing is just that. At 60, through much loss, I have seen the joy and healing that our arts bring us. Keep creating, have faith and know that you bless so many with your beautiful creations, words and story.

  11. You have had quite the journey. I am sorry for all you have gone through but proud you survived and are moving forward. This quilt is lovely. Well done!

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